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Is it Actually All Written in the Stars?

Introduction

“Knowing who we are is hard. It’s hard. Eliminate who you are not, first, and you’re going to find yourself where you need to be… The race is never over, the journey has no port. The adventure never ends, because we are always on the way.” [1]

Regardless of how enlightened we think we are, we all struggle to better understand ourselves. And this struggle leads to a lot of personal discontent in our lives. Recently, I was given a copy of The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need by a good friend of mine who is way more in touch with the occult than I am. 

Historically, my only interactions with the subject of astrology were usually in the form of modern day horoscope columns in mainstream magazines and newspapers. From these columns, I understood that I was a hardworking Virgo but I never really thought much more than that. In reality, astrology has way more to offer than a weekly horoscope from Cosmopolitan.  

Astrology is defined as a pseudoscience that claims to divine information about human affairs and terrestrial events by studying the movements and relative positions of celestial objects (usually the planets and stars). When you break that down more simply, at its core, astrology offers you a different compass or lens into who you are. If you are willing to do the work to find and analyze your Birth Chart, astrology can help you find some deeper insights into who you are. 

Looking to the Heavens from Earth

Because each entity in our solar system moves at a different speed and rate, and in a separate path or orbit, the combination of the placement of the planets are almost endless. At the moment of your birth, the Sun, Moon, and planets were in a particular arrangement in the heavens. This exact arrangement will not be repeated for 4.32 million years!

Astrology analyzes how the Sun, Moon, and planets in their specific arrangements interact with one another to shape the various aspects in your life, ultimately helping to answer questions about yourself. Since astrology takes an Earth-centric view of the cosmos, the 10 celestial bodies (planets) of astrology are the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. And each planet represents a different set of characteristics and qualities which rule over different parts of our lives. The following picture depicts the 10 celestial bodies of astrology and the characteristics each governs/rules over:

Every single person has the same 10 planets in their astrological birth chart, but each with varying power and influence. And each planet expresses themselves uniquely based on the zodiac sign they were located in at the time of your birth.

A Personal Look at My Birth Chart

Using Cafe Astrology.com, I created my Birth Chart. I then used Joanna Martine Woolfolk’s book on astrology to analyze my personality traits based on the position of each astrological body at the time of my birth:

natal-chart-brian-nwokedi
I guess I am more than just a hardworking Virgo!

As you can see from the above, I am so much more than a hard-working Virgo. There were definitely aspects of my personality that surprised me, and others that confirmed what I already knew about myself. But all in all, spending some time analyzing myself through the lens of astrology helped me understand a lot of factors that have interacted to shape my life, for good and for bad!

In Closing

Roughly 30% of Americans believe in the merits of astrology as a whole. I, like most people, doubted the validity of the practice given the rise of pop astrology and horoscopes in mainstream magazines and newspapers. But having spent some time reading The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need, and analyzing my Birth Chart, I can definitely say that there is way more to astrology than I realized before.

People might say that astrology suffers from the confirmation bias as we seek to confirm pre-existing theories or beliefs about self. Though they may be a hint of truth to that, it’s hard to deny the point that there are influences beyond our controls. Whichever higher power you place your faith in, the constant drive to understand self is a ceaseless human desire. 

The ultimate reason astrology exists is to answer questions about the self. I have learned that there are so many more dimensions of my being. I hope that after reading this post you will open up to a new way of looking at yourself. Invest some time with astrology and see what you will learn about yourself.

The Extras

Brian Nwokedi’s Book Review on Goodreads

Direct Link to Book: The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need

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The Survivors Club… The Science of Luck

Introduction

We all know someone in our lives that seems to catch all of the ‘lucky” breaks. No matter what happens in their lives, the sun seems to always shine on them. But the truth is, luck isn’t as unpredictable as we often make it out to be. Luck is a combination of your preparation, your attitude, an opportunity, and your action. The following from Ben Sherwood’s The Survivors Club and I hope it will help you bring more luck into your life.

Develop a Lucky State of Mind

In Closing

Lucky people are far less random than one would think. In reality how you approach this world and your state of mind determines how much luck you achieve/receive. Unlucky events happen to people and purely random things do sometimes occur. But, the luckiest of us all find a way to see ourselves through these events. Remember, 90% of your life is determined by the way you think.
 

Extras

Brian Nwokedi’s Book Review on Goodreads
Direct Link to Book: The Survivors Club
Author’s Twitter: @bensherwood 
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The Survivors Club… The Rule of 3

Introduction

Between the uncertainty caused by the current social and political climates, and the global pandemic, 2020 has gotten off to a challenging start to say the least. And while I am not a bonafide doomsday prepper, I do like to take proactive steps towards ensuring my personal safety. In this vein, Ben Sherwood’s The Survivors Club was either a recommendation from a friend or one that I came across as a “must read”. Having recently finished it I have learned some new frameworks and tools for survival. When it comes to surviving there is a whole lot that you can’t control, but there too is a surprising amount that you can control. The Rule of 3 is an easy but great mental reminder of the limits the human body can be pushed to.

The Rule of 3

In Closing

Emblazon the number 3 in your mind. The order of the rules will help you remember your survival priorities as you strive to manage your needs during your most stressful time. Never forget the Rule of 3. This magic number will keep your priorities clear and help you stay alive!

Extras

Brian Nwokedi’s Book Review on Goodreads
Direct Link to Book: The Survivors Club
Author’s Twitter: @bensherwood
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The Survivors Club… How To Survive a Plane Crash

Introduction

Between the uncertainty caused by the current social and political climates, and the global pandemic, 2020 has gotten off to a challenging start to say the least. And while I am not a bonafide doomsday prepper, I do like to take proactive steps towards ensuring my personal safety. In this vein, Ben Sherwood’s The Survivors Club was either a recommendation from a friend or one that I came across as a “must read”. Having recently finished it I have learned some new frameworks and tools for survival. When it comes to surviving there is a whole lot that you can’t control, but there too is a surprising amount that you can control. In the following write up, I will unpack some of the cool things I learned about surviving a plane crash.

In A Plane Crash You Have 90 Seconds to Save Your Life

In Closing

The statistics of surviving a plane crash are in your favor with close to 96% of passengers in airplane accidents surviving. While there is no one seat that is the best, on average, sitting within five rows of an exit increases your chances of survival exponentially. Listen and pay attention to your flight attendants when they go over the safety protocols, and remember that waiting for instructions during and emergency can lead to negative outcomes. In the end, crash survival comes down to a simple question: How committed are you? Don’t panic but be proactive in your survival.

Extras

Brian Nwokedi’s Book Review on Goodreads
Direct Link to Book: The Survivors Club 
Author’s Twitter: @bensherwood
Seven Ways To Increase Your Odds of Surviving a Plane Crash by Business Insider
10 Tips That Could Save Your Life by The Art of Manliness

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The Female Brain

Introduction

Google the phrase “differences between men and women” and you will get close to 572 million results. It’s a topic that is as old as time, but Louann Brizendine’s Female Brain focuses these differences squarely on our brains. From birth, “boy-behavior” and “girl-behavior” is hardwired into the brain, thus making us much more predictable than we think.

The Female Brain was written in 2007 during the rising tide of behavioral and neuroscientific research, and is a fascinating read for anyone interested in better understanding some of the whys behind female and male behavior. In the following write up, I will unpack some of the gender specific behavioral differences that are driven by the “simple” biological differences between the female and male brain.

Blame it on Testosterone, Estrogen, and Progesterone

As Louann Brizendine details in the Female Brain, there are no neutral unisex brains. Hormones make our brains uniquely female and male. The specific three hormones that drive most of the brain differences between the sexes are: (1) Testosterone (2) Estrogen (3) Progesterone. The deeper science between these three hormones aren’t relevant for this post but what is relevant is the specific role each of these hormones plays in the development of the female and male brain. 

The rising tides of estrogen and progesterone assure that all female-specific brain circuits become more sensitive to emotional nuance such as approval or disapproval and acceptance or rejection. Female brains are programmed to prioritize connecting, bonding and keeping the peace. In direct contrast, testosterone has been shown to decrease the communication-specific brain circuits in the male brain, often leading men to seek out conflict and decreased socialization. Literally, the differences in the sexes come down to the hormone levels in females and males which determine the parts of our brains that are primed for different types of behaviors.


The Female and Male Brains

Over the millions of years that humans have walked on this Earth, female and male brains have evolved along some of the following lines:

  • The amygdala is the brain’s center for fear, anger, and aggression and it’s physically larger in men.
  • The prefrontal cortex is the brain’s center for planning, decision-making, problem solving, and self-control and it’s relatively larger in women.
  • Most neural connections in the male brain run between the front and back parts of the same brain hemisphere, which accounts for the better spatial skills and motor (muscle) control in men
  • Many more neural connections go from side to side across the left and right hemispheres of the female brain. This accounts for women’s better verbal skills and intuitive abilities.

The male brain has larger centers for aggression and action and is wired for pursuits that require solitary work. The male brain is finely tuned to sense threats, connect through sex, react quickly, and respond directly to spoken cues of others.

The female brain has larger centers for nurturing, communicating and forming social bonds, and is wired for pursuits that require interaction with others. The female brain is finely tuned to read faces, hear emotion in tones of voice, and respond to unspoken cues of others.

In Closing

It’s not that men and women are from two different planets as John Gray wrote in 1992. It’s more simply that women and men have different brain realities caused by differences in testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone. These hormonal differences give women the edge when it comes to connecting emotionally, observing fully, and communicating effectively, and thus are ultimately better at sustaining deeper relationships with others. So the next time you have a communication disagreement with someone of the other sex or have a challenging time understanding their point of view, remember to give yourself a bit of grace because “boy-behaviors” and “girl-behaviors” are simply hardwired into our brains at birth.


Extras

Brian Nwokedi’s Book Review on Goodreads
Direct Link to Book: The Female Brain
Author’s Website: Louann Brizendine, MD
Author’s Twitter: @drlouann

Video: Louann Brizendine at TEDxBerkeley

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Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness

Introduction

Human behavior is one of the hardest things to predict and understand. And the more we learn about ourselves, the more we realize that our decision making is very flawed. To put it bluntly, humans do not make decisions in a rational and truly thoughtful way. We are very flawed thinkers who have tendencies to make suboptimal decisions. Consequently, “nudges” can be used to alter our behavior towards more optimal outcomes.
Nudge was written in 2008 by the father of behavioral economics Richard Thaler with help from Cass Sunstein. As a major challenge to the concept of traditional Economic Man (Homo economicus), Nudge rejects this hyper-rational model of the individual. Instead it posits that individuals are simply Humans plagued with automatic thinking, biases, prejudices, irrationality, and uncertainty in their decision making.
The following picture from Raconteur summarizes just a few of our cognitive biases:
 

Humans are Humans … We Need Help (Nudges)

The entire premise of this book lies in the fact that Humans are not Economic Man. We don’t make unbiased forecasts. We don’t choose unfailingly well. And consequently, we need help to make more rational and optimal decisions in our lives. Enter the Nudge.
The simplest definition of a nudge is any factor that significantly alters the behavior of Humans in a predictable way without forbidding any options or significantly changing their economic incentives.

The key factor in the nudge is that it’s not a coercive action. Its focus is on trying to influence choices that will make Humans better off in the short and long terms. Thaler and Sunstein really believe that people should be free to do what they like and even opt into undesirable arrangements if they really want to. As policy makers and private institutions then, it’s on us to make it easier for people to exercise this freedom in the direction that makes their lives better, which is why we use the nudge. 
 

How We Set Up Choice Matters as Well

Because Humans are not Economic Man, the manner in which choices are presented to us can greatly influence our decisions. The best way to explain this concept (choice architecture) is to think through how food is offered in a cafeteria. By moving healthy food forward to the beginning of the line or to eye level, choice architects can greatly impact the frequency with which healthier food is chosen. It’s the same reason why retailers put impulse buy items near checkout and why they move items throughout their stores from place to place.
As a choice architect, you have the ability to influence outcomes simply by how you lay out and present options. Small yet seemingly insignificant details will have major impacts on people’s behavior.
 

In Closing

Humans have a tendency to move towards a state of inertia, and given this we don’t always make the decisions that are in our best interest. To quote the Guardian, “real men and women are inconsistent, ill-informed, weak-willed, and lazy. We can’t be bothered to fill out the form that would get us in the company pension plan, we forget to cancel subscriptions and we slump on the sofa eating doughnuts when we should be doing yoga. We are virtually incapable of balancing the temptations of today with the rewards of tomorrow; for some of us, even instant gratification isn’t quite quick enough.”
Nudges can save us from our inability to act rationally and the core of this book drives home this very point.

Extras

Brian Nwokedi’s Book Review on Goodreads
Brian Nwokedi’s Twitter
Direct Link to Book: Nudge
Author’s Website: Richard Thaler
Author’s Twitter: @R_Thaler
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The Inner Game of Tennis

Introduction

The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey is a book about more than just tennis. It’s the ultimate guide to gaining peak performance in the mental aspects of life itself, and this is a must-read book for anyone who is interested in gaining complete mental control over their self. For a deeper dive into this material, visit The Inner Game website.
Deep within our mind, we have two inner selves battling for control over our actions and thoughts. Self-1 is an egocentric and control-minded being that lives to tell and judge. Self-2 is a natural reactor and learner from experiences. It’s the ultimate doer by nature and can be seen as our subconscious mind. 
 
The relationship that exists between Self-1 and Self-2 is the primary factor in determining our ability to navigate the complexities of this world. Better tennis and life lie in improving the relationship between the conscious teller in Self-1 and the natural being of Self-2.

What’s the Real “Problem” with Self-1?

Generally speaking, the vast majority of us are constantly thinking or ruminating over the past and future, forgetting to live in the present moment. Self-1 overly influences and overwhelms the natural capabilities of Self-2 by exerting control over situations through self-judgement, over-thinking, and trying too hard. This constant thinking, assessing, and judging are the real problem with Self-1.
 
 

One Major Key to Overcoming Self-1 … Let Go of Self-Judgement

Judgement is the act of assigning a negative or positive value to an event, and are thus very much personal in nature. Our judgements start with our thinking process and can easily spiral out of control as our ego reacts to sights, sounds, feeling and thoughts within our experience. Letting go of judgements doesn’t men ignoring errors. It simply means learning to see events as they are and not adding anything to them (i.e. positive or negative values).

Concluding Thoughts…

The world is rapidly changing every single day and this change can feel at times unsettling. The Inner Game of Tennis offers indispensable tools that when put into practice, will give you the ability to remain calm in the midst of this rapid and unsettling change. The ultimate goal of winning the inner game is to overcome the telling nature of Self-1 to allow the Doer of Self-2 to dictate your actions.  
 

Extras…

 
Brian Nwokedi’s Book Review on Goodreads
Brian Nwokedi’s Twitter
Direct Link to Book: The Inner Game of Tennis
Author’s Website: THE INNER GAME
Author’s Twitter: @the_innergame
Video on Quieting Self-1